As I look around the room my heart is crushed with a guilt and sadness beyond any other. Why me? Why was I born American? Why was I born, destined to be wealthy and to have every thing I need? Why am I guarunteed to have a great future? Why do I have everything going for me? Why do I have all this excess?? Why do I have food on my table at every meal? Why do I have the opportunity to get an education? Why can I eat anything I want any time I want? Why do I have so many shirts and pants and shoes? Why? Why do I have a camera, a cell phone, iPods, a laptop? Why do I have my own room? Why do I have aircon? Why do I have running water? Why do I have electricity? Why do I have excess of everything? Why are both of my parents alive and well? WHY?!
This week I have heard the stories of 5 people - all who have lost fathers and mothers in the last year, some of them have also lost aunts, uncles, brothers, and sisters as well. They don't know where their money is going to come from. They aren't guarunteed food tomorrow. They can't get an education because of financial shortages. No education means they can't get a job - a vicious cycle that leaves them stranded with nothing. 11 People in a 8x8 room. No air. No blankets. No beds. No water. No electricity. Nothing but eachother and a dream for a brighter future for their children. They are not greedy. They don't want an excess of money or to live in a mansion. They only want a stable enough amount to send their children to school and put food on the table at each meal and maybe have a few different outfits. Nothing more. But they always have less.
And they are real people. Sometimes we sub-humanize them and think, 'well, they are probably used to it and it's just a way of life, so it must not bother them. They don't have dreams or passions like us.' But I have discovered that these people dream bigger than I have even ever dared. They have more passion and feeling and hope than I could ever imagine having. They are unashamed, unafraid, undaunted by life. They let their tears fall and laughter flow freely.
I think I am beginning to understand Solomon; I despise my wealth. It has showed me the pointlessness of life. I wish I could throw it all away and go live in a box in order to find the happiness that these people have. Money means nothing - it brings nothing. Money is meant to be given away - what joy is it to have it all to myself? I'm sick of feeling sorry for people and then going and sitting in my palace of a room. I'm sick of pitying them while listening to music on my iPod or playing one of my guitars. I've got to do something! I've got to break out of this bubble! Life is so shallow and pointless if all our goal is is to gain wealth and think it will give us something. Wealth brings nothing. Nothing. True happiness can only be found in things eternal and in what you make of what you have right now. Life is so short. Stop striving for pointless, material things. Make the moment count. Do something. Love unfraid, unashamed, undaunted by the lies that the world tells us.
My heart is broken. Crushed. Because I have far more than I need, and that is the worst feeling in the world. What can I do about it?
3 comments:
Hey Morgo prayer is the most powerful thing to do also. Also you could go around the wealthy people that live around you and collect clothes and food for these people. You could write to people in the states and ask them if they could have a collection for clothes and blankets and send to you, so that you can give them these gifts. You are a blessing and God put you there for a reason to help the poor. I wish I could be there with you to help, because I know these people need lots of help. I told my parents that I am destined to be a missionary and I would give everything to them. I already started my collection of things I will bring with me. I have a pair of crutches and I will give those to a lame boy or girl, so it would be easier for them to walk. I have decided that I want to be a full-time missionary. I want to give myself to these people. Well I pray that God helps you everyday. God Bless!
Juan Mannierrez
So, if you're to the point where you're asking God why he's blessed you, and this is burning heavily on your heart, I think you have your answer right there. God has given you a heart for others with less, and a means with which to make a difference...simple as that. -chall
Could be that god is positioning you to minister to folks that none of us could ever have a shot at. Maybe he is gonna use you to change some greedy hearts to giving hearts. just a thought. sure miss you guys. much LOVE.
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